My Desperate Prayer Song

My Desperate Prayer Song a mother's plea for help

The nausea was rising up inside of me. My head was pounding and my vision was blurred from the piercing migraine. I wanted so much to curl up in bed and moan and cry and moan some more. But I had five children to care for. Life didn’t stop just because I was battling sickness from my 6th pregnancy.

There was a spunky 2 year old that needed to be tucked in for nap. A short book, a song and a kiss from mommy before snuggling into her crib was the routine. It was too much for my eyes to focus on the pages of a book so my 8 year old offered to read the nap-time story. I crumpled up into a ball on the floor next to the rocker and waited to hear the words “The End.” Then with a whispered prayer I tried to gain my balance as I picked my little one up, carried her to her crib and started to sing.

The song wasn’t really for her though. It was for me and my thirsty soul. My body was weary and my soul was parched and I needed desperately to sing this prayer song to the Lord. I closed my eyes and feebly sang these words:

“Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name”

It was so hard to get those words out. So hard for that verse to penetrate my heart. They were merely empty words poorly sung into a dim room. My little one snuggled up closer to me. I tried again to sing.

“The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.”

Isn’t that what I wanted? Isn’t that what my heart needed? To be singing God’s praises no matter what the circumstance. Shouldn’t I be found singing God’s praises when the evening came?

I drew in my breath and sang a little louder as I held my daughter in my arms. I sang that verse again but this time as a prayer. Please God, let me be able to sing your praises amid the nausea, the migraine and the demands of motherhood. Let me be found singing your praises when this day comes to an end.

And that is when the tears began to trickle down my cheek. They weren’t tears of frustration or self-pity. These were tears of relief and rejoicing. I sang the rest of the song. And then, instead of placing my little one into her crib, I held her a little longer and sang my prayer song over and over again. And the tears kept flowing and as they dripped off of my cheek I felt them refreshing my soul.

In the midst of the difficult day I had discovered the refreshing Spirit of God.  I had to come to God first though. I had to sing my prayer song, even if it started out desperate and feeble. But once I came, God met me. He refreshed me. He gave me the strength to keep on singing until the evening came. And that night, when my head hit the pillow, I praised God one more time for showing me, yet again, how to discover Him in the chaos.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

 

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Comments

  1. Very heart felt my dear neice! I love your blog 🙂

  2. I had tears in my eyes reading this. God’s mercy is so tender. Thank you for sharing!

  3. Brook Legg says:

    Yes times 1,000! I think that this is what God wants from us mommas who are in the daily holy mess of motherhood. There are so many opportunities to praise Him and I believe that it’s in these precious moments He is most glorified. Thanks for sharing.

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