Three Things All Moms Should Avoid

3 Things All Moms Should Avoid

Being a mom is a tough job! With all the tasks that we have to juggle we can easily allow guilt and false expectations seep in. Here are three things all moms should avoid. {This post contains affiliate links.}

Feelings of Condemnation

God convicts us of sin so that we can repent and be changed by Him. The enemy is the one who condemns us so that we wallow in how awful a parent we think we are and never get around to knowing and experiencing the freedom that God wants for us.

If you read blogs and books, listen to speakers or hear friends sharing about what it means to be a Christian mother and you feel condemned, then know that those thoughts and feelings are not from the Lord. God wants us to grow in Christ so that we can be more like Christ for our kids and ultimately for His glory. We can’t do that if we are weighed down by feelings of guilt.

“Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

Let us walk in freedom knowing that God convicts us but also transforms us once we repent.

Trying In Our Own Power to Love Our Kids

God calls us as parents to love our children but He doesn’t want us to do it in our own power. I wrote yesterday about how I was praying that the fruit of the Spirit would be evident in my life as I parent my children. Often times I try to live out the fruit of the Spirit without the help of the Spirit! How foolish is that!

If I want love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control to be flowing out of me then I need the Holy Spirit to be working in me first! I can only attempt to have patience for so long before my patience runs thin! But God’s patience never runs out. If I want to be patient with my children then I need the Holy Spirit to pour it into my life. I can’t get it on my own.

I love what Kimm Crandall writes in her book, Christ in the Chaos: How the Gospel Changes Motherhood.

“Yes, every child needs a loving mom, but the only way I can move forward from failure and love my children well is if I find my identity in what Christ has already given me. Then, and only then, can I begin to love them with his love.” p.36-37

Is it making sense to you now? It took me awhile to figure it out. I can’t love my kids as I should unless I know Christ and embrace all that He has done for me and then allow the Spirit to work in me and through me. Kimm Crandall also writes,

 “…when I understand God’s love for me, I can begin to love others with motives formed by the gospel rather than by my own impure desires. I can love them with the love of God…I cannot love anyone well apart from understanding God’s love for me and then acting according to his power at work in me.” p. 41

Believing That Loving Our Kids Means Entertaining Them 24/7

Loving our kids means sacrificing for them as Christ sacrificed for us. It means giving up some of our time, our energy, our finances and our own desires for our children. But loving our kids does not mean that we should entertain them 24/7.

Our children need us to listen to them, to hold them, to laugh with them, to engage with them in their world. They need us to allow them into our world. They also need us to teach them that the world does not revolve around them.

It is right for parents to say “no” to their children as long as we are saying no for their good and not to feed our own selfish desires as a parent. (I wrote more about this in the comment section of my last blog post in response to a great question.)

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